The changing face of 'love'

[brijv]

Love might have been blind, deaf and maybe dumb too, a few years ago but in today’s world it’s a different story. Nobody wants to fall in love blindly with someone who is below their standard and class. These days love also has class. A high class girl or boy will fall in love with a person from the same class; after all it’s a prestige issue. What will their friends think about them if they date a person from a lower class? And if they belong to the same class, then it’s easier for them to fit into each others lifestyle. A middle class person will go for a person from the same class because they think they will understand each other’s problems better.

Love comes with preconceived notions in today’s world. Everybody has a clear picture of the kind of person they want to fall in love with. He/She should be good looking, smart, successful, romantic, with an amazing sense of humour and when they meet someone they try to see if the person has these qualities. And if these qualities are not there, then who has the time to waste time? Isn’t love enough? Are these qualities so important that a person’s heart comes second to them? Is it due to modernization of the society or is it that people have become more practical?

Explains Kritika Vyas, a marketing professional, “Everybody wants to fall in love with someone who can fulfill their needs. We now need someone whom we can show off to our friends, and moreover someone who understands our lifestyle.” As more and more young people are working today, they prefer someone doing the same kind of jobs so that they could understand each other’s work pressure etc. “And money is an important factor. You can’t go with a guy who does not have a pretty good bank balance, a social status and who can give you security after all,” adds Kritika.

Explains Mi Roy, who teaches in a Kolkata college, “Maybe it is not all that wrong to look out for certain qualities in your partner, but nobody’s perfect. Everybody has some faults and when these faults come up, relationships don’t work out. When I come in close contact with young students, I find they really have a different concept of love. They say love comes out of security and not anything else.”

People don’t fall in love with someone but with all the qualities the other person has. The expectations are so many that they are never over and in the end love flies out of the window.

Explains leading psychiatrist Sanjay Chugh, “Lovers are not blind to each other’s faults. Nobody wants to compromise. Why waste time with someone who’s not up to their standard when you can fall in love with someone who is better?” He adds, “Love and its meaning have changed a lot in the modern world. Though it’s not wrong to a certain extent but what about the old fashioned love when one loved someone for what they are and not for what they have. When love was how you feel when you are with your lover and not how others feel about your being with that person”. Further explains Dr Chugh, “Psychological need changes from time to time, generation to generation. Superficial attraction is not there these days. But not all relationships are like that. Sometimes people still love for love’s sake,” he laughs.

So, is love blind in today’s world or Shakespeare’s quote is nothing more than a thing of the past? Does love happen in today’s world or is it planned? This is one question that is still a riddle. A riddle that one hopes to solve but not very sure if others will be happy with the answer. So as psychiatrists say it won’t be very wrong to say that in today’s world love is not blind and the lovers can clearly see what they want in their partner, and they certainly don’t want to commit any follies by falling in love with someone who does not meet their requirements.